Plot Twist: I Have Absolutely No Idea What I’m Doing




When I was little, I genuinely believed grown-ups knew everything.

Not a lot.

Everything.

Your mom knew everything. Teachers knew everything. Doctors? Oh, doctors were basically wizards with medical degrees.

If a doctor told me something, that was it. Case closed. The Council of Adults had spoken.

And grown-ups always seemed so sure of themselves.

They knew how taxes worked.

They knew what medicine to take.

They knew where we were going in the car without staring at a little blue dot on a screen.

They could call a company on the PHONE and just… talk to somebody.

Terrifying behavior, honestly.

I assumed there was some point in life when all of this information was downloaded into your brain.

Like maybe you turned 30 and suddenly understood health insurance, interest rates, relationships, retirement accounts and why you’re apparently supposed to clean the filter in your dishwasher.

Nobody told me about the dishwasher filter, by the way.

I would like to file a complaint.

But the biggest plot twist of growing up has been realizing:

Oh my God. They were all just people.

The adults were figuring it out too.

Your parents didn’t magically know how to raise a human. They were making decisions with whatever experience and information they had at the time.

Teachers could be wrong.

Doctors could be wrong.

The person confidently explaining something to you might know exactly what they’re talking about…

or they might just be saying it with their whole chest. 😂

And I don’t mean that in some cynical trust nobody, question everything way.

Actually, I think it’s made me more compassionate.

Because adulthood isn’t the moment you finally receive all the answers.

It’s the moment you slowly realize there was never an answer key.

Rude.

I was promised competent supervision.

Instead, apparently, I am the supervision now.

And that seems irresponsible.

When I was younger, I thought there was some magical age where everything clicked.

You knew who you were.

You knew what you wanted.

You had your career figured out.

Your relationships made sense.

Your finances were organized.

There were matching containers in your refrigerator.

You just… became an Adult™.

Then you get here and realize everyone is basically improvising with varying levels of experience, knowledge and confidence.

Some people genuinely know a lot.

Some people know just enough to know how much they don’t know.

And some people know absolutely nothing but have incredible presentation skills.

Honestly, those are the ones you have to watch. 😂

But weirdly, I find the whole thing comforting.

Because if everybody is still learning, changing their mind and occasionally thinking what the fuck am I doing?…

maybe I haven’t fallen behind.

Maybe this is just what being alive feels like.



Xoxo

Alexus Rae

https://www.alexusraemedia.com/


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